the anthony syndrome

The Standard of Liberty Voice
For God,Religion,Family,Freedom
A publication of The Standard of Liberty Foundation
www.standardofliberty.org
September 1, 2005, #11

The Anthony Syndrome

Remember the old "Twilight Zone" episode about the precocious little boy named Anthony who had his parents and everyone in the town terrorized because of his supernatural powers? With a little mental concentration he could and would send anybody off to the cornfield (annihilate them) if they displeased him in any way. Even when people’s children or spouses became Anthony’s victims, they stifled their grief and horror for fear they themselves would be next, smiling and saying, “That’s good Anthony, that’s real good.”

I have been reading some of the material on the internet written by certain groups of people bent on getting others to accept homosexuality. This comes as a shock to me not just because homosexual orientation represents an obvious perversion of normal biological functions, is an unhealthy, often fatal, practice, and is contrary to God’s laws, but because these activists I am referring to are LDS parents of "gays." (See www.Affirmation.org and www.LDSFamilyFellowship.org )

Given that there may be as many ways of reacting to a child’s decision to embrace a "gay" identity and live the “homosexual lifestyle” as there are families, I’m concerned here only with those parents who have bought into their child’s homosexuality, hook, line, and sinker, and are actively helping to spread pro-gay propaganda.

From a huge pile of parents’ testimonials, one that is particularly hard to swallow states how the parents knew their kid was homosexual even without the kid telling them. They knew this because he liked the company of girls and enjoyed cooking, reading, theater, dancing and playing musical instruments. They cleverly put these pieces together and voila! They just knew their son was gay. Armed with this knowledge, they learned all about homosexuality and “came out” to him on his 22nd birthday. The father is confident that this the way things are supposed to be. He believes his son was born some third gender and thinks that he’d be celibate if he, the father, asked him to be.

The above thought process defies logic. For one thing, a child’s wholesome interests such as those mentioned above have nothing to do with sexuality. If they did, every male person who liked those things would be homosexual and we know that isn't so. It makes one wonder where they got their information, who taught their "crash course." Strange how parents, with many more years of life experience than their children, will blindly accept for them a life-changing abnormal "sexual identity," whether the child self-determines or, in this case, the "savy" parents come up with the label. Aside from all that, I think it's tragic that this father is encouraging his son’s participation in dangerous activities which run high physical health risks. I also get the sneaking suspicion that we aren’t hearing the whole story.

All parents might benefit from a very thought-provoking 1950s-ish movie I happened upon the other night on TV called "Tea and Sympathy" with Deborah Kerr as a dorm mother. In it, she tries to help a sensitive young college student who is being cruelly singled out and abused by his rough-and-tumble peers. It all comes to a head when the gang finds out with horror that this boy knows how to sew on a button. Realizing he is being used as a scapegoat for the other boys’ own adolescent masculine insecurities, she appeals to her unfortunately insensitive husband, the coach. She asks him to stick up for the boy, saying the stereotyping and mistreatment he is experiencing could cause him to doubt and question his masculinity and affect him for the rest of his life. But her appeals are in vain. Even the boy's own father is gratingly disapproving of his son because he plays tennis instead of football. Who knew such pervasive, improper, and damaging stereotyping could come directly from one’s own parents? Nowadays, more than ever, in this sexually-confused world, parents need to be gender-affirming, that is, affirm their daughters' femininity and their sons' masculinity in all the important ways.

There must be some reason these LDS parents have thrown all common sense, along with proper gender roles, out the window. Perhaps they’ve developed the Anthony syndrome. Terrorized by their child’s tendencies and choices (or even what they imagine are or will someday be his tendencies and choices), they pipe up, “That’s good Anthony, that’s real good.”

Could it be they are desperate for approval from their child? Do they fear losing their child if they take a stand? Are they trying to salve guilt for parenting failures? Does accepting their child as gay relieve them of difficult responsibilities? Is it just too frightening to consider exploring what may be the cause? These, and others, are truly painful questions. I feel deeply for these parents. I have been in their shoes. I have faced those issues myself and it hurt. The difference is, by some miraculous act of grace, I never gave in to my son's weakness and I never quit believing he should and could overcome it. I went with my gut feeling of what is right and what is wrong, what is real and what is false, what is good and what is bad.

It’s interesting how in their testimonials LDS parents of "gays" represent themselves as practically perfect families and are sure to mention accomplishments and Church callings. The truth is, no family is perfect; accomplishments and callings do not guarantee special spirituality, knowledge, or authority on these topics. I suppose they are trying to show that they are guiltless or that they are in good favor with the Church and God or that the homosexuality occurring has no psychological or environmental causes, that it’s just the way things were meant to be. Funny, in my reading I never saw the word repentance, indeed, very little about applying any gospel principles at all. And yet many profess to be so much better people now that they have accepted their child’s homosexuality: more compassionate, more loving, more like Christ.

Contrarily, my personal experience with my son’s bout with homosexuality left me humbled to the dust and greatly reliant on Christ for the first time in my life. It left me feeling as if I am finally beginning my spiritual journey when, before, I didn’t know where to begin. It completely changed my inner life.

Giving in to a child's homosexual tendencies is not love. If Christianity stops at blanket acceptance of a child's abnormal "sexual orientation," the parent has forgotten, or never realized, that Christ is all about the kind of love that gives us the opportunity to cleanse the inner vessel, to overcome the flesh, to become new creatures who deny themselves and obey God's laws out of love for Him. Even if our children do not choose this path, we can.

I think these good people are deceived. What a loss is occurring because of this issue. One parent says, “Why do our leaders create an atmosphere that forces us, as parents, to choose between the Church and our children?” In reality, no one has forced them to do anything. They have made the choice themselves. Unwilling to humbly accept the fact that their child is on the wrong path, they seem to have joined him there.

I also noticed in the pro-homosexuality literature and testimonials by parents that sexual immorality, pornography addiction, masturbation, promiscuity, and the unnatural, unhealthy sexual thoughts and acts inherent in homosexuality are not mentioned. Rather than come to grips with the unthinkable things their children are probably actually thinking and doing, they merely smile and say, “That’s good Anthony. That’s real good.”

Unless we take a stand and speak up, we as a society are doing the same.

-Stephen & Janice Graham

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